A great imitation of losing my nerve

2008-01-21T03:58:00.000-08:00

Its written in the wind that we're two,

carved out in the sand that we're real,

Its lit up in the stars that we're true,

We're destined in the sky to be glad,

We're hopelessly informed that we're meant,

We're cautious of the fact that we're s'pposed to be so sure and we are....

Here's the thing, we try so hard. We try so hard to please noone but ourselves. Its a rewarding feeling only winners can get, losers mmm get their own pleasure in a certain way i've yet to understand. i'm confused. Its the New Year, and to be honest, it still feels brand new. I hope this year is good. I'm not gonna say "oh this year looks good, new beginnings, etc" cos thats what i said last year, and look what happened. oh well, learn from it. I dont know what to learn actually, lets see..don't tell the world anything, keep your mouth shut. I don't know. But. Here's the big But, this year does look good, i've been pretty happy so far. Sunday rehearsals have been really fruitful and i find myself so genuinely happy. When I heard about it, i was pretty skeptical for obvious reasons. I've made new friends, met old ones and brought back lots of fond memories. honestly, i'm very happy now. I do get pissed occasionally, but i'm happy. Really really happy.

2008-01-19T22:59:00.000-08:00

Nobody knows it....cut it. we ignore, we choose to live on the fast lane pretending we don't want to, we lie, we cheat, we pretend. we pretend, we pretend, we pretend. Has it gotten in yet?! I might disappear one day, we all will. I've been feeling rather deep of late. I feel nicer. I should be nicer. mean never really suited me. But yknow, when things get to you. oh wait, you pretend. you pretend everything's alright... Oh yes that's right, you pretend.

2007-10-02T22:56:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh i find blogging such a mundane task. I can't talk about happy things cos theres nothing to be happy about except the 50th wedding anniversary thing coming up. you kno you try to make everyone happy leaving yourself behind. Maybe S is right, maybe im like that. I think i'm scared. no wait no, i kno im scared. Stupid thing's im not doing anything about it. I dont do anything. there! got the problem now I need to fix it. but then, Ive established the problem since waaayyy back. I hope trinity goes well. I've a pretty rough idea what i wanna do. i liked improv. I never really like improv, they dont work wit me. mmmmmmmmmmm, so then. this hols look so packed i could drown myself in. I hope little S gets better, noone should go through this amount of pain.
ah you kno like you get all excited cos you kno someone's gonna be like you when he/she grows up. like you sense it. the signs are there and all. you kno its gonna happen. sometimes you dontkno if its good or not. ooh yeh dev's treat coming up to, he nicely blamed me cos i watched the simpsons movie. little S and N thought it was all my fault. raah. ok, and he's telling everyone different ice reams. hmmmmmm. good day.

"love the sinner, not the sin"

2007-08-30T09:10:00.000-07:00

"When heaven breaks, who fixes it?"
Ah i'm really into Spice Girls now, brings back good ol' memories of our fringe performances, viva forever. I think i'm going insane now. I find it hard thinking straight. Well then Sch's been pretty fun, like my shoelaces are pretty screwed too. Ragu came over ystd:) we looked at old pictures, pictures i've not seen in really long I didn't even kno they existed. When I got back from Sangita Angkuram rehearsals, I showed them to my bro and he couldn't believe we've changed so much, at least he has. I got a midnight snack from Shell too. and I fell asleep immediately. ultimate pig-ish behaviour. Oh and speaking of rehearsals, I met Prithibha's sis!

Screams "Quek I love you too!"

2007-07-24T17:00:00.000-07:00

Ok I kno this is long overdue but better late than never right? So here goes...

HAPPY 15th TINAES!

So we kinda planned to celebrate his b'day during the hols but then I couldn't make it and later we find out he couldn't either. and then we decided on July 4th but we kinda forgot? so we owe you one soon Tinaes, for the support you're given us all so far. andddd I don't kno just being there. I kno we've never really told you this but we really miss you. At least I do. hahah ok we should go out sometime and call the rest to treat us so that we don't need to depend on you for toblerones anymore hah. Arch and I are still thinking bout whether Pra and you can follow us into hiding under the escalator cos we kno you really really realllllllyyyyyyyy want to. hah!

AC and Prakash chettan are officially married now. Its kinda funny cos I always thought of AC as the gf. I miss our movie dates (Nit, AC & me). The wedding was pretty hilarious. was great seeing the kids. Nikhaiil and shwe stayed at my place. I learnt a lot from them. you should see the white board in my room, its vandalised. ohh and I think my saree was pretty. ok you prolly think im some ego nut but really! haha!

rah basically i've got nothing else to say. School's been pretty fulfilling, i feel like i'm learning a lot nowadays. esp during phy, amath & tamil(!). Speaking of which, I just had my tamil oral Os. the invigilators laughed at me. ok, they laughed at Trish too. so the minute i went in, they looked at my IC and they kept staring at it for realllllllyyyyy long. and then they were smiling a lot. I kinda had the urge to laugh, but had to control myself. yeah and I said something really stupid. I'd rather not mention it here cos it'd make me ultra stupid. But generally, it was quite fun. I really hope I get a good grade for it.

SO i went out wit Ragu on Sat. Malini still calls it whatever so i'll just call it whatever. we should really stop naming things. hah. anw i had a really good time and it was a pretty funny day. it rained! gah i miss him soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. I should just cut it here. I'm really hoping this week ends fast. like super fast. can't wait for sat :)

black horse and the cherry tree

2007-06-30T18:54:00.000-07:00

Okay i'll make this quick. Im really tired and exhausted but happy at the same time. This past month has been so fulfilling and i'm feeling sorta accomplished. Lots been happening but i'm pretending not to notice. oh yeah and I appeared in tamil murasu on thursday, i'll upload the pic soon! anddd gosh I think i'll cry on Sunday. I'll miss everything we did during the rehearsals, camping out, dancing to bnjs and back, NUTS! basically everything. Well, its the last 2 days to enjoy myself thoroughly. :( :( :( oh yessss and my favourite July baby's turning 15 soon!

2007-06-08T17:40:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 15TH ARCHANAA!

So someone's a year older now! Archanaa, archanaa, archanaa, I hope you become a wee bit mature this b'day (Though I doubt you will;]).

So I went out with Arch, Pra & Tinaes (I'll call you Tina from now on). omg it was really hilarious going out with em. Actually it always is, and I think Praneetha's the smartest person alive(!). I was the earliest which was kinda funny cos I thought i'd be on time after buying a banana. okay, that has no connection. I went around Bugis with Malini and we got matching necklaces and Gayathri ka's get well soon present. I think its really cute! oh so anw, all of them couldn't figure out where topshop was, but I thought it was one of the easiest landmarks cos the sign was so big but then again. oh yeah Tina bought us chocolates(: which made us really really happy and high that A and I ran around bugis, hid under the escalator and did all sorts of idiotic things. But really its pretty fun, i miss acting stupid.

Well quite a lot has been happening lately. I didn't go for camp trng! and have been having dance everyday. and I had to go around the whole of potong pasir. oh yes and I was supposed to go for some circus show. andddd June 3rd's over. Devesh stayed over at our place for a week - one of the best weeks ever! oh yes and I just realised July's coming up real fast and Jovi's leaving really soon. which to be honest, is very extremely sad :( . And actually it means school's starting soon and someone's leaving pretty fast. hah!

I'm looking forward to m'sia and meeting the adorable kids again. That reminds me, i've got to get presents! oh oh! and i'm an aunty again! okay well, that doesn;t sound right but I don't kno how to put it. Nisha chechi gave birth to a baby boy. That's pretty exciting?

okay, my new pc's supposed to have arrived but now but apparantly it hasn't. maybe I can blog more often after that?

oh yeah and taking the train with my brother is actually quite fun(:

The more you love, the less you judge

2007-05-11T11:31:00.000-07:00

A lot has been happening lately. Actually, I think I say that all the time but err nevermind. On Fri I felt like I was gonna burst with all the lit and history. I really can't pick which is my favourite subject cos I really like all of the ones I'm doing right now. So maybe Physics can be a little pissing off sometimes? Met everyone at macs. Was pretty funny. Kester was the earliest with John ( I kno the oddest. K would have wanted to be with M ;] ). On sat we were supposed to play tennis, but since my brother and I are the greatest Geniuses of all times, we called the coach 1/2hr before 8. So we were pretty lazy to go play. Dance was good except for some reason I didn't feel good after thilana.

I'm definitely gonna order the pics. Haha! Saranya, now everyone will kno i've got good taste! So Saranya denies that the flautist is pretty good looking. She was being such an ass and so now everyone thinks I like him. And that guy next to the mridangam was pretty good looking as well. :D

Mon was just a brief one to pastamania, Sam & I celebrated our b'days on Tues with Deb and Sarah. our hot date! Thanks fab & Sarah for everything. Really. and haha even though there were glitches. Sorry Deb, we just had to get back at yu for being so mean to us, making us go round the whole of savannah looking for "ellis". We effing thought it was a plant! Okay I shan't be mean and put the pic up lol.

anws to end it off,

HAPPY 15TH SAM!

2007-05-01T23:38:00.000-07:00

I love Dakini Lounge. It's one of my all-time favourites. Very danceable. and I suppose thats all that matters. I've been dancing a lot lately. I do that a lot when I'm stressed but then again I don't think Iam. okay. I love dance. I'd love to go into it deeper if only time permitted. So may be i've been neglecting a whole lot of things?
Stgabs is coming up! I'm gonna get Arch and Pra balloons. *temporarily* damn I wonder how Kaya got in. ugh. It irks me to even think about it. Fine. I won't. Sonia was nice enough to get me a dog. I can't wait for the sarees to come! andddd may 13th. and oh yeah we're going out before that. I think. and soon July 6th! okay shut up. I've got tamil Os coming up. Yay me! I love tamil! its in my blood! see that Tinaes! ahaaha okay. no it isn't in my blood. I wonder if i'd do better if I took hindi. okay no, I wldn't.

2007-04-30T20:30:00.000-07:00

Okay here's a quick one. Illayar Natanam was great except for a few glitches here and there but I cld see that everyone was really happy and enjoying the dance which made me really happy. pardon me for my "really-ness" but yes. I just spent 900 bucks on 2 sarees. like sue me? but then again, I think it was a really good investment so I'm not gonna say anything more. So yes I just turned 15 today. Acha was really nice, he called me at midnight to wish me. I really miss him to be brutally honest. I woke up one night unable to sleep. and he's the only one you can wake up at night to talk to cos you cld always wake him up. gah basically I miss him. anddd it wldn't be right if Ididn't thank Tinaes! So here goes: "Thanks best frend, for everything. esp in the past few months..a listening ear and all. okay I really don't kno what to say. we'll meet soon!" and thanks to everyone who wished me, ammuma, amma, cheta! for the wonderful gifts. and basically everything. There'll be a longer post soon! greaat.

2007-04-22T18:30:00.000-07:00

Okay its finally up for good!
Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about how everything's changed. In some ways I still miss 06. However, I think 2007 will be a good year in the days to come. There have been some ups and downs and I suppose its all part of the challenge.

Highlights in 2006
Our all arts?
Drama elect
Fringe
Illayar Natanam
Vana Mahotsavam
Spice Junction and Swaadisht (really good kerala-style cooking)
NY
Ms Lee's wedding
KL!!!
The Pier
Vivo(29th Dec)
I miss 2/5

Highlights in 2007 (so far)
3/9!
OBS!!!!!
Ammuma's 75th
Deb's bday
Meeting up with The People (Good Fri)
Namaste London (If you get what I mean)
Family(:
Vic's ohsofab 15th
Bharatha Natyam just gets a whole lot better
Dance

Coming up this yr...
My bday
Illayar Natam
Sam's and my Bday celebration at the airport!
Our july performance
July 6th

This year seems to have a whole lot more memories. I suppose it comes with age. I started off the year feeling that it would be a good one and I hope it stays that way. MYE's are coming up. Everyone's feeling the pressure. I can't wait for everything to be over and to get my needed 8hrs of sleep.

"Running out through the door and straight to the sky"